I was sitting in my tiny apartment in NYC in March of 2007, crying out to God...again. I wanted to be a mom. I didn't care how or from where the baby came; I just wanted to parent a child. I would start crying in middle of work while talking to a customer because the desire and heartache were all-consuming.
So that night in March, I felt the Lord speak to my heart and He said this: "I need you to give Me three years. There's something I need to work out with Jer's (my husband) job. In three years, you'll have your child." In my best martyr's voice, I agreed. It seemed like an eternity away and later I would convince myself that it was all my imagination...that God never said that.
The next year, two marriages in my family would fall apart. I didn't focus on having a child, just surviving the aftermath divorce leaves. When the dust began to settle, my husband and I started contacting dozens of adoption agencies. We also began the process to foster. All this time, we tried to have a child the "old fashioned way". Coming up with 25K or more for an adoption seemed impossible. My mom was a foster parent and we watched a baby in her care be returned by the system to a violent father. I wasn't sure I could survive attaching to a baby and then losing her in such a fashion. Each time my period was late, the test came back negative. I sank in to a deep depression and could barely get out of bed--sometimes I didn't.
In May of 2009, I again felt the Lord speak to my heart and say, "Remember the promise I made to you? Well, this upcoming year, you will be a parent." This time, I chose to trust His voice and I was filled with hope and joy. I was gonna be a mom. I didn't know how, but it was gonna happen. We moved to a different city where our church family was, and through word of mouth, we were connected to a couple who adopted two infants domestically. I never considered an infant adoption to be an option. I was too scared the mom would come knocking, demanding the baby back. But once I learned the laws of our state, I felt better about it. We were connected to a local agency that partnered with a crisis pregnancy center. We attended adoption education classes in late Nov and early Dec and we quickly realized this was the agency for us. So in mid-Dec of 09, we submitted our paperwork to adopt.
On our application, we said we were open to any race, but we were praying for a Haitian-American, because my little brother is Haitian (adopted through the foster care system) and we didn't want him to feel alone in my Scandinavian family. The agency laughed at how oddly specific we were...especially since they had never served a Haitian birthmother before. But only a few weeks later, a Haitian woman walked in looking for a couple to parent her unborn child.
We got the call asking if we would like to expedite our adoption process and to get our profile ready to show her. They showed her our profile among a few others and she picked us, without knowing we were praying for a Haitian child! Talk about meant to be. (I wrote about meeting her in one of my earliest blogs: "Surreal...wonderful").
Well, we weren't financially prepared to complete the adoption right then; but, the agency offered us a payment plan if we could pay half before the baby was born. Shortly after, my husband received a new job offer and totally switched career paths, earning a substantial pay increase.
So in March of 2010, my husband began his new job and one week later, our son J was born...exactly 3 years to the month of my moment with God in NYC. God is so good!!!
And the money? It came...it all came in. We had half a few days before J was born and, thanks to our loving community, pay increases and the generosity of strangers, we paid the rest before we finalized.
Now every night before I go to sleep I revel in the fact that in the morning I get to wake up and spend another day with my son...my son. There's not a word to describe the kind of joy and contentment that brings.
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