I'm not his baby sitter.

Any fellow adoptive moms out there have all heard the same horrible questions using the phrase "real mom". eeeeek. I hate it and shudder every time. I wish it didn't bother me as much as it does. And I know the person saying it doesn't mean to be hurtful, but it is. Do they not see me as real mother?

My son has a birthmother and we love her very much. But I am his real mom. I am not his baby sitter. He is not out on loan. I am not a pretend mom. I think that's why I hate the term so much. I feel like they are saying the birthmother is his real mom and I'm just out there pretending.

I'm not pretending. This is all very real. My love and commitment to parent him his real. He is my son and I am his mom.